What is Welcome?

WESTMINSTER PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH
June 26, 2011
Rev. Mark R. Miller
Matthew 10:40-42
“What is Welcome?”

Some of you may remember the television show in the 1980’s called “Cheers.” Some might still be able to sing the theme song. But if not, let me remind you of the refrain. “Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.” There is something in those words that speak to us all. In a world where we are so scattered, so short on time, so fragmented, it is a real gift to enter into a place where your name is known. Being known is a true gift. But having people know your name is only the beginning. Being truly welcome is something much more.
When do we know we are truly welcomed and not just merely included? Before I attempt an answer let me do some defining first. Being included means you are part of the group. Learning to be included can often mean succumbing to peer pressure, however slight. In any new setting we are required to figure out what is socially acceptable, how to act, and even what to wear. This pressure is particularly acute when we are in high school and throughout our early adult years. If you do not find yourself pushed or challenged to follow them it means that you may not be all that concerned, or that you are already well acclimated to the group or groups you spend the most time. It might be time to widen your circle a bit.
In our social groups, friends, and even family, we might be included but that does not mean we are welcomed. Being welcomed goes far beyond someone knowing your name or knowing how to act in certain company. Being welcomed allows us to fully let down our walls, put down our masks, and even lay down our agendas, and simply be who we are without feeling pressure to change. Have you ever had that experience? Have you ever been truly welcomed with no strings? If you have, you know what a precious gift this can be.
Because true welcome is so uncommon, it can be hard for us to truly let down when a real welcome is offered. In social or work settings, it can actually be harmful or seen as a sign of weakness to let down the walls. So we accept half hearted or simply socially acceptable forms of inclusion, but welcome is a precious commodity. So, when a church says that it is welcoming, more often than not, we are really saying we are willing to include people.
When Jesus sends his disciples out into the world, he gives them a commission to preach and heal and tell people the kingdom of God is at hand. While they are on the journey they will be able to do deeds of power. And yet, Jesus makes sure when they go, they will have to rely on the hospitality, generosity, and welcome of others for their needs. There will be no expense account, no relying on the hospitality of people they already know and who know them. Instead, they will have to learn to receive a welcome from people they do not know. This is the basic struggle we have with evangelism.
Jesus sends us out to make disciples and the church has too often understood this to mean we are to force people, argue people, coerce people into belief. In doing so we have been able to build big buildings and large programs. But this is not evangelism. Instead, Jesus knew that when the disciples would stop healing, and preaching, they would be much more interesting when they let down over a meal. The shared vulnerability would be way more powerful than any convincing argument or promised program. Sitting down over a meal can be a truly transformative moment, particularly for those who are seeking to follow Jesus’ call to welcome all people to the table.
Mark Yaconelli is the son of a preacher and a long time youth specialist. He has done a lot of work with contemplative prayer and ancient spiritual practices in youth work and found out that it works. He tells a story that I believe expresses the power of true welcome. Mark had gathered his youth group to do some role playing. They were given a chance to play a role around the difficulty of talking about our faith to people outside the church. The two roles were one person of faith talking to a person hostile to faith. As the role play went on, it became obvious that Daniel was no longer role playing as someone hostile to faith. Things finally came to a head when Daniel finally said, “Listen, I was born in South Central – one of the roughest parts of Los Angeles. When I was four years old, my best friend and I were walking to the park when a gun fight broke out. We stood frozen – just watching these gang kids shooting at each other. My friend Benjamin got hit in the chest by a stray bullet. What kind of God allows a four year old to die like that?”
The room got silent and no one quite knew what to say. After a few moments of silence another boy, Jake, offered to take the role of the person of faith. When he sat down, Jake looked directly into Daniels eyes and said nothing. After another moment of silence Daniel finally spoke and said, “So what do you have to say? That my friend Benjamin went to a better place? That this was part of God’s plan? That God makes us suffer so we’ll turn to him? How can you possibly believe all this crap about God being a God of love?” Jake said nothing. He keep looking at Daniel as the silence continued. Then, slowly tears began to stream down Daniel face. Slowly, without saying a word, Jake stood up and embraced Daniel.
No words were ever exchanged between these two and they never talked about it afterword. But there was a marked changed in the group and the way Daniel began to change his life and grow deeper in his faith and life. It is, I believe, because he found a place, a moment of welcome. A place of grace, no words, no expectations, no peer pressure, he simply found the love of God in a welcome place to be exactly where he was at that moment.
This is what welcome is all about. The church can no longer settle to be a place where we include people. We have to go out of our way to welcome others. If you do not know someone in this room, or in the church, reach out to them, particularly if you have been here over five years. Or for that matter, take time to extend a welcome to anyone who is in need. It may be a word, it might be an acknowledgment, it might simply be providing space. This is how we will be a welcoming place.
Likewise, we need to remember the words of Jesus. We need to be open to the welcome offered by others. When a welcome is offered, don’t give pat answers or half hearted stories about how everything is alright. We are invited to offer welcome because it is welcome that we all need. We need to be a place that goes well beyond knowing everyone’s names, but it better start there. The welcome we have been offered in Jesus is not about social graces but complete transformation. Everyone is hungry for a welcome, let us find someone who is in need and offer it. And when we are in need of a welcome, it is my deepest hope that Westminster will be a truly welcoming place. We can get there. Amen? Amen!